I’m very proud to be a mother. Even though parenting is hard work and l feel like a failure at times, l try to tell myself multiple times a day that I’m doing a good job. I’m proud of that even though sometimes I’m a bit harsh on myself, but l try and remember that I’m so lucky to have two beautiful children. It depends on the day, time, mood, place, children, season…. to how l manage these thoughts. One minute you think you are the world’s best mother and the next you are thinking, ‘how could l have done that?’
Counterbalance, that’s what it is about. You need to balance positive and negative thoughts and interactions. More positive is much better than more negative. We are always going to have negative thoughts but they must not dominate you as they can cause us more harm than good.
I believe whole heartedly that l am a good mother. Even at times when s#*t hits the fan, I’m still proud to be a mother because I’m doing the best l can. My partner and l created these little humans from two tiny cells. It is amazing to think that they are a total product of who we are. As a midwife, l have been lucky enough to share in people’s labour and birth journeys. The miracle of life still amazes me 21 years into my midwifery career. Then to be able to experience this myself twice has been the most passionate, life changing and amazing experience. I’m so proud of being a mother.
If you feel like you are not a good mother, suffer from anxiety and / or depression and do not feel that sense of achievement or fulfilment in your parenting, you can ‘try and fake it until you make it’. By that l mean tell yourself you can do it even if you feel that’s not possible. Smile often at your baby and try to have positive interactions even though you feel like crying and hiding in a corner. This is important for the social connection and attachment to your baby. But please seek help as early as you can. Talk to other parents who make you feel good about yourself and your parenting and ignore those who do not. They are truly not worth it. Seek professional help because you do not need to feel like you are not a good mother.
Attachment to your baby is so important to all areas of baby’s development and this is the way they learn to be in the world. Sensitive parenting will aid this process and if you find you cannot do this, seek help. You can be a proud parent and being proud is the most fabulous feeling in the world.
What I’m proud of
- creating two beautiful children who are the light of my life.
- to hear them call me mum, mummy, mama.
- that it is me they come to for comfort and warmth when they need it.
- seeing them being kind to others and helping other people.
- when they cuddle me and kiss me and snuggle up to me in bed.
- when they poo in the bath and l have to clean it up. Ok I’m not proud of that one but l guess I’m lucky l have children to be able to do it for.
- to take them out, introduce them to others and show them off.
- to watch them play and grow.
- who they are and who they will become.
For further reading on bonding and attachment to your baby: